Traumatized By Divorce.

Divorce can be one of the most traumatizing events to take place in a child’s life. I don’t care what the age of that child is — whether it be 8, 18, or 38 — it’s tramatizing.

I think the most common definition of divorce would have to be the following: any formal separation of husband and wife according to established custom (taken from dictionary.com). 

Nowadays, family law has become such a necessity and so much more common than it ever was before. And though there may be divorces out there that were “good” or have “gone easily,” that is not the case with most divorces.

My parents, for example, got divorced when I was almost 18 years old. It was not easy, by any means. I was in the middle of them while they were divorced, while they were divorcing, and now — that I’m almost 30 years old — I’m still in the middle of them all of the time. Someone who has never been in the middle of a divorce — themselves, or have had their parents divorce — has no idea what it’s like. No idea to see years of fighting. To see an awful divorce in a court. To see two very bitter people afterwards, trying to divide up their lives and children.

Those two parents aren’t the ones who suffer, the children are.

To see more often than not, a child brainwashed by one of the parents. Years of “your mother/father is a horrible person, they did this-and-that” and to make that child sometimes almost hate that parent? That is extremely wrong yet so extremely common. I see it in children all the time. When that child starts acting out — or worse — acting exactly like that parent, you can’t even blame them. They did nothing to deserve it. But it happens anyways. We can only hope that they grow up, grow out of it, and learn to have a loving relationship with both of their parents.

My husband grew up in a home with two very loving parents. Who loved each other a lot. He doesn’t understand divorce. He doesn’t understand why that underlying fear will always be there for me. But for children who grew up witnessing divorce — that fear never goes away.

[I wrote a post about divorce — this has nothing to do with my marriage. Please don’t be concerned, there’s nothing to be worried about!]

If you know someone who is in the middle of this and needs some help or support, please check out family lawyer barrie.

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