Tag Archives: family

Traumatized By Divorce.

Divorce can be one of the most traumatizing events to take place in a child’s life. I don’t care what the age of that child is — whether it be 8, 18, or 38 — it’s tramatizing.

I think the most common definition of divorce would have to be the following: any formal separation of husband and wife according to established custom (taken from dictionary.com). 

Nowadays, family law has become such a necessity and so much more common than it ever was before. And though there may be divorces out there that were “good” or have “gone easily,” that is not the case with most divorces.

My parents, for example, got divorced when I was almost 18 years old. It was not easy, by any means. I was in the middle of them while they were divorced, while they were divorcing, and now — that I’m almost 30 years old — I’m still in the middle of them all of the time. Someone who has never been in the middle of a divorce — themselves, or have had their parents divorce — has no idea what it’s like. No idea to see years of fighting. To see an awful divorce in a court. To see two very bitter people afterwards, trying to divide up their lives and children.

Those two parents aren’t the ones who suffer, the children are.

To see more often than not, a child brainwashed by one of the parents. Years of “your mother/father is a horrible person, they did this-and-that” and to make that child sometimes almost hate that parent? That is extremely wrong yet so extremely common. I see it in children all the time. When that child starts acting out — or worse — acting exactly like that parent, you can’t even blame them. They did nothing to deserve it. But it happens anyways. We can only hope that they grow up, grow out of it, and learn to have a loving relationship with both of their parents.

My husband grew up in a home with two very loving parents. Who loved each other a lot. He doesn’t understand divorce. He doesn’t understand why that underlying fear will always be there for me. But for children who grew up witnessing divorce — that fear never goes away.

[I wrote a post about divorce — this has nothing to do with my marriage. Please don’t be concerned, there’s nothing to be worried about!]

If you know someone who is in the middle of this and needs some help or support, please check out family lawyer barrie.

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Project 365 – January 2nd.

One picture every day for a year...

Happy bathtime -- bruised face and all!

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Project 365 – January 1st.

One picture every day for an entire year…

January 1st -- Happy New Years from Daddy & Baby.

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Merry Christmas.

It’s  Christmas Eve.

My house is clean.
Holiday candles are lit.
Christmas music is playing.
Cookies are baked & decorated.
The Christmas tree lights are on.
The table is set for Christmas Eve dinner.

Our Christmas snowmen candles.

Today, we’ll share food with family. Christmas cookies, coffee, eggnog for dessert. Open gifts that some of us were fortunate enough to be able to buy for each other. Tonight, when everyone goes home, I’ll sit by my Christmas tree with my eggnog, and thank God that my little family is happy, healthy, and able to celebrate Christmas together.

Tomorrow, we’ll wake up to have a Christmas breakfast and enjoy baby’s 1st Christmas — opening gifts and enjoying each other’s company. We’ll head up to my Dad’s for dinner, and enjoy more family.

Merry Christmas to all my friends out there, ones whom I’ve met in person, and those I haven’t. Money doesn’t make the holidays, you do. I hope everyone remembers the reason for Christmas this year, and doesn’t let how much or how little money they have come in between you, your family, and the Holidays.

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Christmas Prep.

I’ve been a little MIA lately. I apologize.

With it being the week before Christmas, we’ve got a lot going on. My goal is to do a little cleaning each day, and then by the end of the week, just a quick touch up vacuum/dust and by Christmas Eve morning we’ll be ready to set up the table and decorations and be having dinner by 2pm.

Oh yeah, I didn’t tell you? We’re hosting Christmas Eve dinner at our house.

Thanks to everyone pitching in, it shouldn’t be too hard.

On the menu: 

Appetizers: Crackers & cheese platter.

Dinner: Spiral cut ham, green bean casserole, green beans (plain, for anyone who doesn’t want/can’t eat the casserole), stuffed zucchini/mushrooms, homemade mashed potatoes, olives,  bread.

Dessert: brownies, christmas cookies, coffee.

And with all the help, the only thing I’m responsible for buying are the potatoes and the fixings for them (sour cream, butter), and the cream of mushroom soup/onions that will go on the beans. Everything else is being bought by someone else! But i’ll be doing most of the cooking — they’re just buying the stuff and dropping it off here. Easy enough!

So Christmas Eve will be spent here in my house. We’ll set up a table for 10, play Christmas music, eat dinner and dessert, and I’m thinking there will be lots of gifts for the baby. Unfortunately, we couldn’t really afford gifts for anyone BUT the baby, but we ARE handing out Christmas pictures of him to everyone.

Christmas Day will be a busy one, too. Wake up, just Hubby, the baby and I, and open presents. I’ll be making something for breakfast — so we’ll sit and enjoy some coffee/eggnog and breakfast before heading up to Hubby’s Dad’s house to open gifts with them. Then we’ll rush back home, get on our Christmas clothes, and head off to MY Dad’s house for dinner at 1pm. There will be minimal gifts there, just for the baby — but i’m sure we’ll have eggnog and cookies and chit chat.

I hope to spend the very end of the day at home, cuddled up with my 2 guys — in front of the Christmas tree, drinking just a LITTLE bit more eggnog.

Can you tell I like eggnog!?

But back to today. I’m hoping to continue on with my holiday traditions, and do some Christmas cookie baking today. I have a few recipes that I would like to try for the first time. If all goes well, pictures and a follow up entry will be coming soon.

 

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Christmas Traditions.

This year has been a whirlwind for us, for sure. Just over 10 months ago, we had a baby.

And just like that, life changed.

It was at that point, that I wanted to make the most of every day. Whether it be a normal don’t-go-anywhere and sit-around-in-sweatpants day, or a dressed-up holiday, I wanted to celebrate it the best we could.

I’m a sucker for things like “Baby’s 1st Halloween” bibs, and “Baby’s 1st Christmas” outfits. Of course, things don’t always go as planned, like our Halloween being “postponed” because of snow (in October!? Really!), and my kid being born only about a month after Christmas, so finding a “1st Christmas” outfit in size 12 months is nearly impossible. (I guess they figure that if they’re wearing 12 month clothes — it’s not their first Christmas?? Carter’s — what’s up with that??)

So, with that said, pretty much the biggest holiday of the year is quickly approaching.

And I have to admit, this is the first year in a VERY long time, that I’m excited for Christmas. There, I said it. I haven’t been excited about the holidays in a long time. But this year is different.

I want to start traditions this year (as I’ve mentioned in a previous post, also). We decided we’d put the tree and decorations up the day after Thanksgiving. We totally succeeded. Black Friday morning, we woke up, grabbed some hot chocolate, and headed out. We did a little shopping, came home for lunch, and then in the afternoon ordered pizza and put up our tree. We set up our nativity, and put up our stockings. Right down to tiny details, like tiny snowmen candles on the kitchen counters, placemats on the kitchen table, and my red tablecloth in the dining room.

I also want to start traditions like baking Christmas cookies together right before Christmas — with a few special ones to leave out for Santa. Or reading a special Christmas book before bed that night. Or making a special “Christmas” breakfast. These are the things that get my “mama brain” going. I want to be crafty and creative and do all of these special things for my kids.

So far, so good. I feel ahead of the game. Christmas decorations have been up since the day after Thanksgiving. All of our shopping for the baby is done. Christmas cookie cutters are out on the counter, and we’ve done a “trial run” once already (note to self: roll dough out thicker for better cookies).

Our Christmas tree, 2011.

 

Now tell me. What are some of YOUR traditions? Leave me a comment and let me know!

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Our 1st Family Christmas Card.

Our first family Christmas card!

 

I finally got our Christmas card in the mail! I really love the way it came out and am super excited to send it out to friends and family! Originally I was going to use pictures from our photo session that I got done at Walmart, but umm — honestly, I like the pictures that I took better! And it looks even better in person, but this is just a “picture of a picture.” 😉

Merry Christmas to all of you, from us!

[Did you have a Christmas card made that you posted/blogged about? As always, leave a link, I’d love to see it!]

 

 

 

 

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